im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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