i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize