batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
