Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
...so i touched it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
