What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
