Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
