Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
