i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
