what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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