If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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