Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
