She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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