oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
