I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
