Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
