I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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