I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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