her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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