my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
