The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
