I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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