my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
