If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
