It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
