Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
