I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize