Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
