my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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