I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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