I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
