She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
