these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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