She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
did you just send me my own nude
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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