I am spending my child support on dildos
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
