I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
