His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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