Don't you send me to vm
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
