Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
