My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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