I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
