Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
