I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
