Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
