I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
