this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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