And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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