Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's shark week go big or go home
not ubering you a puppy
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
