the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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