i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
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It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
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Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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