If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
