You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
