she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
