No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
