Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
