Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
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I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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