a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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