so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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