I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
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