Non-Jews are for practice
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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