sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
