if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
A bitchslap is in order.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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