I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
