i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
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they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
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I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.