I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.