WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
third nipple confirmed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank