Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad