Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
