Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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